War Studies Pub Quiz Night

Dear Kitty,

Sorry for not writing yesterday, but life has been hectic as usual. Last night was an interesting experience to say the least. I went to the Stamford Arms (aka Stammy Arms), the local pub by my apartment, where everyone hates you. I have been there three times and every time I am all too aware that I am not welcome. I was a little anxious to return to Stammy after they kicked us out last time for not being regulars. It was scary. But how could I say no to all my War Studies comrades when they requested my presence at Quiz Night. I mean who wouldn't want to drink and get rambunctious while answering nerdy war questions??? The night started out well with the bartender making fun of the way I talk when I ordered my Fosters. He said, "Where'd you learn to say FAH-sters???" I replied with, "America douchebag." A bar fight quickly ensued and I ended up in the hospital with glass shards in my hand. Just kidding mom. But the guy really made fun of me which is cool because I can dish it and take it right? The real crime is that Stammy Arms charges 3 pounds for a freakin pint! Whatever. I'm over it. So upstairs things were getting intense. The questions were extremely difficult, but this made me feel extremely smart when I knew them. Here are some questions I got right:

What war and year was Bunker Hill? American Revolution in 1776. Boom! Oh wait it was actually 1775 but the girl marked us right! Score.

What German line opposed the Maginot Line? Siegfried Line duh. That one I actually got right.

Sam Houston was the first president of what republic? Texas. Remember the Alamo boi.

Okay so that amounts to my contribution to the team. You're welcome guys. I don't pretend to know a lot about European History, especially super old European History. I mean they talk funny over hear and I'm an Am Civ major so what's the point?

And that concludes the boring set up to the most interesting part of Quiz Night...

Being an American is sort of a novelty here. Not gonna lie sometimes it's nice to be the only American around. It's a good way to immerse yourself in the culture. At Quiz Night there were approximately three Americans. Me. My boy Will Mackey and ROTC dude. I don't actually know his name which is good because I don't want to embarrass him publicly. I knew I wasn't fond of this dude as soon as he turned to my group, butted into our convo and started arguing with Will about the way President Carter handled the Iranian Revolution. Frankly this is what nerdy people do when they're drunk. It happens all the time at Georgetown which is why I know that the best way to handle such arguments is to say, "Whatever," and then have fun. So when ROTC guy felt he had won the argument he turned back to his group. Praise Allah. The questions continued and I continued to know none of the answers. As it got later and later things started to heat up. I heard background arguing but paid no attention to it at first. ROTC was debating a British girl from my class. Nbd. More questions, more drinks, then the debate grew from a murmur to just under yelling. "Waterboarding is not torture, I would know!" he said. "Blahblahblah," she replied (I didn't hear what she actually said). And then CAPOW! ROTC slammed both fists on the table and in a fit of raw emotion exclaimed, "I AM SICK OF DEFENDING MY COUNTRY EVERYWHERE I GO!" Woah dude. The room was silent. He was extremely upset and his Brit friend tried to calm him down. It was super awkward. Thankfully the Brit convinced him to go outside. Meanwhile all the Brits in the room were saying, "Did you hear that American?" and being the appropriate person I am I walked up to them and said, "Do you have a problem with America???? You LOBSTERBACKS!" They looked at me aghast and I said, "Just kidding. That guy's crazy!"

THE END

-bretzel the first

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